I believe my view of beauty has changed. I remember asking my grandmother, when I was very young, if she thought I was beautiful. Her reply: ‘not in the traditional sense, no’. And its funny how a single sentence can affect you: for much of my early life I believed I was not beautiful and consequently, not lovable.
But now this belief is slowly beginning to shift. I have spent my life appreciating beauty in weird and wonderful places – I have sought it out in the extraordinary. I have turned away from a ‘traditional sense’ of beauty – most likely inspired by those very words that brought me down as a child. I wanted like any small person, to be loved and thought beautiful by those people I loved.
Now I see the beauty in my strangeness. I am on the wonk in funny places. But its all good. Beauty is in the process of creation. When I see my art completed (whatever it’s form), I appreciate the beauty of the creator. It’s always a little imperfect, but its part of who I am. I am what I create, so that makes me beautiful. I’m hoping a little lovable, too!